Mobile kitty bed

...is what I've become - not that I'm complaining. Who doesn't want a furry feline master who has deigned to make you her resting place?

I wake up at 6am to the pressure of paws kneading my boobies, non-stop. I don't want to disturb her while she's showering me with such affection so I hold still while I try to fall back asleep. What makes it difficult is the weight of her hind legs digging into my bare stomach, a constant reminder of the claws that may unsheathe at any moment.

If I lie on the couch to watch tv, she trots over with a rare single-minded purpose. After kneading my boobies, tummy, then boobies again, she'll slowly curl up on my torso as she blocks the tv I'm trying to watch. I pet her and scratch her behind the ears. The way she closes her eyes makes me smile, until I remember that she may suddenly decide with a quick bite of my hand that she's had enough petting.

If I sit at my computer desk, she'll hop on over and settle into my lap. This can be dangerous because if my thighs are too far apart and she starts to slip, she could bring out those hind claws for support. Once she has fallen asleep, a gentle nudge will not be enough to convince her to get off. I must gently but quickly swoop my hands under her and lift her to the desk before she decides I need a nip of discouragement.

Thus I am Muffin's mobile kitty bed.